Temporary Daughters

There are no words to describe the loss of you in my life. I see you growing up on Facebook. I can’t touch you, talk to you or be a part of your life. You’re cheering at my old high school. Do you remember how excited you were when I attended your first competition? It’s your senior year and you placed 4^th for homecoming queen. Remember the fun you and I had on the DC trip? I wonder if you’re angry that I had to end things and have prayed that I could provide an explanation.

Did I leave anything significant on your heart? Did I teach you anything of value that you can take forward in life? I miss you…what we were…but mostly what we could be in the future. I miss learning from you. I miss the parts of your life you’ve yet to experience. However briefly you were in my life, you were a gift and etched a place in my heart no one else on earth would ever be granted. Please know that I constantly send you love, wish you joy and hope someday our lives are more connected than they are today. Namaste

chose to suffer

i watch and ache when you choose to suffer. my love deepens when i remember your touch on the back of my neck, your eyes dancing in sunlight, your bent head upon my shoulder uttering your sacred truths. allowing yourself only moments to feel so much good, you run back to your walls of confusion and resistance. what are you waiting for? this is it...the point where you make the fucking choice to stop it, to put it behind you and grow up. self destruction is not noble...the party is over. keep pushing me and i will one day leave. however, you need people whether you want to admit it or not. and some day there will be someone worth letting in, worth walking away from the pain and chosen suffering and you will chose to live...out loud.

i continue to love you and i ache when you chose to suffer.